The End of a Friend(ship)

Friendship. I think about the daily doses of wisdom I dole out to my children regarding their friendships. "Treat others the way you want to be treated." "It takes a friend to be a friend." and for the three year old, "Share, share, that's fair." Sometimes, I feel like a drill sergeant in the army of life repeating my commands over and over. And, as I help my little soldiers navigate their social situations, I begin to reflect on my own.


Friendship. I wonder...is it the same at forty as it was when I was ten? Is it more complicated because I'm older or are the principles the same? At times, I do remind myself to listen to the same advice I share with my children. Life's instructions are pretty much universal. They will serve you for a lifetime. Young or old, it takes enormous time, energy, and effort to maintain a friendship. However, once you have a dear friend, there is nothing else quite like it.


Friendship. Perhaps, it isn't until things get a little murky between adult friends that I expect a difference. Most of the time, young children simply end friendships and move on to new friends after some troubled times. Maybe it is survival on the playground or just a short
term memory. I expect adults to use their wisdom, compassion, and grace to preserve friendships when things get rocky. At our disposal, we even have email or text messaging to make things easier. Still, we are usually no different from our ten year old counterparts ~ often, we simply walk away from difficult friendships.


Friendship. I must admit, I am disappointed by the end of a friendship - by a friend just walking away. With so much invested and shared, there must be something worth fighting for. Shouting would be better than silence. How can a bond that took years to create be undone so quickly and easily? As I pass by a former friend, like strangers, it becomes clear. "Friends who don't treat us well aren't worth having." Tomorrow, I'll have to add this one to my drill.


tb


ps I had the privilege of meeting your Helen, over the phone, when I called you ~ she was a special lady indeed. You were lucky to have her friendship.